You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
