So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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