If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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