I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
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