That's intense
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
