you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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