is your mom at the bar?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
