just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
