I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
