New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize