This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we're making bets on your personal life
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
