Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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