The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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