She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize