I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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