i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
