when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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