Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
