im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
