The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
