Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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