hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
