i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
