Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
