guys are not supposed to queef...right?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
