ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
