Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
it's great music for shaving your balls
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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