I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
