I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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