I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
