if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize