I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We had to coat check the pizza.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
