This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
