we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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