I want to have your abortion
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
