I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Randomize
