So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
