I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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