HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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