That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
