I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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