those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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