Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
