very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize