having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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