Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
