He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
