i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
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