i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
