I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
this boner is exhausting
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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