if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
