I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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