it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
