yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
