did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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