i don't plan on having that self control this summer
honey bunches of taint.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
