Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
