Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish you could order shots online.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
