I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Randomize
