the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
