He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
