I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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