Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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