Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
