Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
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